I cant remember how long we sat there but not sitting stone still and communicating in whispers made it fun actually. Then the next ceremony began with close families; the` Tepung Tawar' Ceremony. The tepung tawar started with the closest in family hierarchy, ie; the parent first followed by brothers and sisters. Then only the most honoured guests followed suit. I still remember my beloved elder sister solemnly at first going through the ceremony, then acknowledging my smile of love and appreciation for all she had done to me, playfully swiped my lips as she put the kismiss (if not mistaken) to my mouth as part of the ritual. We loved each other unreservedly. I never for once doubted her love for me.
I remembered my late father-in-law cupping my head in his palms and smiling into my eyes in that certain way that hint at hope, wish and a discharge of responsibility with a tinge of sadness. I appreciated him for that gesture and that look. My father and mother just went through the motion. They had passed the main role of the wedding to my sister and brother-in-law who was a cornerstone of reason and good influence in my early upbringing. I shall never cease to be in debt to him, known as Abang to us, the siblings. Also there was the beautiful Kak Zah; wife of the then Chief Minister of Kelantan who was related to my father-in-law. She stood out among the crowd through her bearing and courteous good mannerism; like a rose among the mundane lillies. Even her laughter was dignified and enchanting, polished through the many, many hours of social functions as the wife of the State's Chief Minister.
The ceremony being at night, the guests slowly went back and I had not seen them off, being lead here and there through the events. That was most improper and I was chastised latter by my mother for that. I was naive in the way of social behaviour and did not appreciate that fact at the time. I even failed to see my parents off and just followed through the events as directed by the acting wedding planner; wife of Abang Him who was the one responsible to introduce my wife to me. Abang Him was the photographer. He owned a Leica SLR camera when most were on the staple diet of Japanese makes. Photographers acknowledged those with a Leica as those with distinction. It was snap, pose, snap, repose, snap, snap sequence amindst laughters and shyness. It helped greatly to make me relax and enabled me to settle down quickly among my wife's family members.
The activities continued well into the night. Soon it was time to retire to bed; me to my new place with a partner whence before I had been sleeping alone. It was another benchmark in life; sleeping with a partner instead of alone and dreaming together into the land of paradise where Adam and Eve had lived, loved and passed through the land of enchantment together in bliss. It was downright uncomfortable at first after a lifetime of sleeping alone; giving in to your own private fantasies and doing things in your own privacy you would not want anybody to know and see. It need not be lewd acts of giving reign to sexual fantasies. It can be just a mundane necessary act of scratching away the itch in that unmentionable places or yawning away in complete carefree abundance. Those things you'd rather do in complete privacy, not even in front of your wife.
As time flowed into the night, the other members of the family discreetly left you alone to enter your marital chamber and for their daughter to follow. It was downright uncomfortable to enter the room trying to look as normal and mundane as entering the toilet. How is that possible on the first night of your wedding? Camouflage as hard as you want by yawning hugely and pretending to be very tired and sleepy, everybody know that it was play-acting. So sheepishly I dragged my soles along the floor and murmuring the salam among huge yawns; very, very conscious of averted glances of others trying not to notice and to act normal. Soon I was there in the semi-darkness, fully awake now, all acting gone and all senses pitched to abnormal high the moment I was inside alone. It was quite a while before a creak sounded at the door and a beam of light pierced through the slightly opening door as a silhoutte emerged inside and putting the bolts securely on, glided softly to my waiting form....... From here on is absolutely a nobody's business.... BYE.
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